Mom First: Less Stress, More Joy for Working Moms

36: What is Your Legacy?

July 14, 2022 Jen Larimore
Mom First: Less Stress, More Joy for Working Moms
36: What is Your Legacy?
Show Notes Transcript

What is your legacy? On this episode, I encourage you to consider the legacy that you are leaving, and what that could look like for you? This is more than accumulating wealth. This is more than babies and grand-babies. Your legacy is who you are as a person and how you will be remembered. 

This is your invitation to align with your values and build a life that you will appreciate. 

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Have you stopped yourself lately to ask yourself if your life here on this planet were to end? How would you be remembered? What would your legacy be? Would it be one of hustle or one of flow? Would it be one of impatience and frustration or ease and abundance? Would it be one of achievement and external rewards or would it be one of inner peace and intrinsic satisfaction?

Today's episode is a call to consider who you want to be. And what legacy you're going to leave behind. This can be kind of deep, but in the end, isn't it. What really matters? So take a breath and let's go 📍 



 hello, my loves. Raise your hand. If you know where you are going, how many of you have your hands up? Where are you going? Are you going to work to the grocery store downstairs to fold the laundry? Whatever you're doing, wherever you're going.

Can you just pause for a quick second? Can you stop and listen to me, listen to this question. If your life was about to end right now, how would you feel about that? How would you feel about you about your life, about your. Example your legacy about who you have been about the love you have received, and the love you have given, will you be satisfied with what you leave behind?

What will your legacy be? How do those questions land with you? Does it seem irrelevant?  does it seem heavy? Does it seem egotistical or selfish for me? This question is highly relevant. And one of the greatest questions that we get to ask ourselves as humans, not a one of us knows how long we have on this planet.

And every one of us knows that there's going to be an end to our time here to our time in these bodies.  no matter what your beliefs about what that means. We all know that is coming. So here's my question to you when that time comes, when your time here is done, what will your legacy be?  There is this fabulous quote from Alice and Wonderland where Alice is talking to the Cheshire cat.

Perhaps you've heard it. Alice asks the cat, would you tell me, please, which way I got to go from here? And the Cheshire cat responds, that depends on where you want to go. So Alice says I don't care where, and then the cat says then it doesn't matter. What will you go? And Alice.  I do wanna get somewhere and the cat concludes, oh, you're sure to do that.

If only you walk long enough, here's the thing. We are all headed to the same place. We are all going back to where we came from. We don't know when some of us don't know it, but today is our last day here. Some of us have weeks, months, years, decades, hopefully, decades. I know, I hope to be here a long time.

There's so much I wanna do and play with, and there's so much I wanna experience and learn. And there's so much I wanna share with those around me. And yet I know I'm not promised the next hour, the next day, the next week, much less the next five decades.  Because we don't know how long our path will be here.

It's important to ask ourselves. Just like Ellis does, where are we going? And hopefully there's a treasure cat inside each of us saying, well, my love, where do you wanna go? Let me be that treasure cat for you today. What do you want your legacy to be? There are so many ways to think about a legacy.

Some think of it as what they've achieved, how big a business they grew, how many degrees they have, how much money. They've accumulated how many homes they own, how many places they've traveled, how many people they've helped, the impact that they've had on others.  for some it's their family, their children, their grandchildren, their great grandchildren. I totally get this. I love the idea of a big extended family and watching the generations ripple from one person.

I've started.  to think that just maybe our legacy could be a way of living a way of life. If you will, an example that we set for others.

 I want my legacy to be one of joy, radical joy, radical joy that embraces the present moment, radical joy, that pursues, what feels good. I wanna have fun on this magnificent ride that we're on. I wanna play and try new things. I don't wanna be caught up in the hamster wheel of life or the hum drum of life.

I want things to feel good.  and not only do I want to have my legacy, be one of joy, but I wanna use it as a way in which I set an example for my children. I want to show them that you can have fun and have a sustainable lifestyle, too. I wanna show them that life is fun. That work is fun. That creating is fun.

That together, us humans, we are meant to have a joyful existence and I wanna show them how do you wanna know what that means for me right now? It means, honestly, I'm going to fail so much at this.  I'm going to mess up a lot. There are going to be a lot of times where I'm not going to have this figured out and I'm just going to keep trying anyway.

I'm pretty serious in a lot of ways, and I can easily tip over into anxiety. I get frustrated and I'm hot tempered and hurt and sad and angry and impatient. And I know when I'm in that space, I'm not living into my current value of radical joy. And it's that disconnect. That then makes what I am feeling so much worse for so much of my life.

I've been a rule follower, a high achiever and someone who is willing to postpone fun for work. Someone who is willing to be exhausted. And drained by work. When I think of the legacy I want to leave and how I want it to be one of radical joy, I know I'm not willing to be that person anymore. I've tried that and I don't wanna be on that ride anymore.

I wanna do it feels good. And I wanna model that for my kids. I know from my experience that this doesn't mean not working, not contributing. I've had so many roles in my life where work is incredibly fulfilling and fun and interesting where even when you are working on something serious, that contribution that you are making the value, you're adding the creativity, you're pouring into it, the way that you're mentoring or helping others that can feel joyful.

These are the joys, the careers, the projects where I didn't need a vacation where I didn't have the Sunday scar. These are the jobs where you're excited to go to work and those do exist. They exist in the traditional sense where you're hired by someone else, and they exist in the entrepreneurial sense where you create them for yourselves.

What I'm asking you to do is to give this a try for a bit, answer these questions. What do you want your legacy to be? Why do you want that to be your legacy?  if you die today, what would your legacy be? What example do you wanna set for your children?

Are you setting that example? Notice what this question is not asking. It's not asking you. Are you a good enough employee? Do you make enough money? Are you good enough, mom? Did you do enough things? My friends you're already one a hundred percent. Good enough.

You're already worth. The only rule here is that whatever you answer, it has to feel good to you. That means there are essentially no rules. If it feels good to you, then that is what is right for you in this moment. Does it have to be what someone else wants you to do? No. Does it have to be somebody else's legacy?

No. Does it have to be the same as mine? No, it shouldn't be, this is your legacy. No one else's. Does it have to be what society expects of you? Absolutely not.  once you define or decide or identify what you want your legacy to be start living into. Even in small ways. So for me, I started this podcast and from there, everything else has exploded the interviewing, the writing, the coaching.

It's been fun, having it flow to me and through me. And it's been fun. Being able to watch that happen and watching my kids see it happen. Here's the thing though. And this can be kind of a hard pill to swallow. It doesn't mean that my life is perfect far from it, or always 100% joyful since I've started down this road of joy.

In some ways the parts that are hard or uncomfortable or unhappy in my life have increased in their intensity too  this is probably to be expected because the more I have of what feels good, the more I notice what does not feel good. It's like the gap is so big between the two or the contrast is so great that it is easy to see and notice those areas where we're not feeling good.

Those are the places that don't feel fun for me. You might have a similar experience when you figure out what your legacy is and how you're going to live with it. I think that this is normal. I think that this is just our inner guidance, helping to show us what we should be doing. If the gap feels big, then acknowledge it, recognize that own it, allow it, but don't do things that don't feel good.

And if you have to do them, because say for instance, you aren't ready to change to something that feels more aligned to your legacy right now, then focus as much of your attention on what does feel aligned with your legacy. So this question, what will your legacy be? Ultimately, what this question is asking you is are you spending your time on this planet in a way that is truly aligned with your values? 

This is the question that the Cheshire cat asked Alice, where do you want to go?

No one else can answer that question for you only. You can answer it. And if you don't answer this question, no one else will do it for you. Or they'll do it for you and they'll give you the answer that they want. You have to answer this question. It's on us to create the life that we want, the legacy that we wanna leave behind.

If you want to create a life that is consistent with the person that you truly want to be, then you have to answer this question. And once you. Answer. You're going to want to take action. And when you take that action to create a life that is aligned with your values to create your legacy on purpose, then you will be setting an incredible example for all of us, including your kids.

And then they will do the same. They might not have the same legacy, but they will begin with their end in mind too. They will find a way to live into their deepest values. And can you imagine a world where more people are doing that and how beautiful and amazing the possibility of such a world could be?

There's only one way to do this moms. If we want a world like  📍 that, then we have to go first.

  Thank you for checking out this episode. If this resonated with you, be sure to head over to the mom first podcast page on Facebook. It's there that you'll learn more about the concepts and tools shared on this podcast. You'll meet other working moms and you'll be the first to hear about my coaching program.

When it goes live, including the scholarships and the foundation that I am creating, that's going to empower women own business. To thrive. It's mom, first on Facebook. I can't wait to see you there.