55: 2-Minute Mindfulness Practice for Busy Moms + Game-Changing After-Work Routines

Meditation is held up as the holy grail for success. If you can meditate for 30 minutes a day, then anything is possible--or so we are lead to believe. But when you are a busy working mom, 30 minutes of freetime to meditate each day is not necessarily within reach. Check out this episode for a quick, tactical way to build your mindfulness and awareness in as little as 2 minutes a day, a few times each day. 

You can bring more mindfulness and awareness into your day, even if you can't find 20 or 30 minutes for quiet meditation each day. 

In this episode, I'll also show with you my game-changing addition to my after-work routine. Learn how a simple change to my after work commute created more time and more space for me each evening. It gave me back my evenings.  It could help you too! 

Take the QUIZ! Discover how to use your mom superpower to reach your writing goals.

Ready to take back your time and add hours to the day so you can finally manage it all? Then you have to check out the FREE Time Audit Guide. You'll get coaching, worksheets, and tips on running your first time audit so that you can finally write your book without burning out. It's absolutely free, and it's my way of supporting and empowering YOU!

Instagram @momwritesfirst

Facebook

Website www.momfirstcoaching.com

Listen to more episodes by visiting Apple Podcasts or Spotify or your favorite platform.

Copyright 2024, Mom First Coaching

Transcript

Today's episode is less than 15 minutes long, and if you listen to the end, you're going to walk away with two awesome, tactical, practical implementable tips.

The first is a two minute way to build awareness and mindfulness and meditation into your life. The second is, After work routine, That has been a game changer for me. Let's go. 📍   

Hello, my friends. Welcome to this episode of Mom First. I'm so glad that you're here. Today's episode is all about. Building some mindfulness into our day. Now, I know that if you are a busy working mom, the idea that you're going to build mindfulness or meditation or some visual meditative work into your daily life can feel really out of reach, and yet at the same time, there is so much well-documented benefit to doing so.

My goal today is to bring you a very accessible, very simple, very easy, and research based way to add mindfulness to your. This is something that I use to help me chill out, to help me relax and to help me be able to focus on and reach my goals every day. And it only takes two minutes. I do it a couple times a day.

I've been doing it for the last 10 months and it has really helped. I think you're gonna find it useful too, so I can't wait to share it to you.

I think that you'll find it useful too, and I can't wait to share it with. The other thing that I wanna talk to you today a little bit about is an after work routine and how I've really benefited from adding a specific component to my routine after work and how you might be able to do the same thing.

So just to take a step back. Just to take a step back though, why might we want to do this? Why might we wanna add these things to our lives? What benefit would we get from it? Well, when I work with a client that I'm coaching, a lot of times we focus on goals, and that could be a big picture goal. For example, like finding more balance, creating more ease, appreciating the journey, adding some joy to our life, finding more fulfillment.

So those big picture goals are all totally valid in their grade. And what I really love to do is focus on really issue specific goals. So a lot of times I'll work with a client who says, Yeah, I have a really. Issue a specific goal around wanting to yell us at my kids, for example, or I want to not feel so stressed out when I visit my parents, or I wanna create a routine of some kind.

I wanna work on increasing my productivity or reaching a specific goal at work. I wanna add more time to my day. I wanna drop 10 pounds. I wanna run a 5k. All of these pieces where it's really easy to think of like a specific goal that you wanna work on. I love working with clients on those specific goals because honestly, it's never even about the specific goal, but the specific goal is a way in which we achieve those bigger picture goals in our life.

It's so fun to watch clients work on those things and. It's so fun to watch clients realize and grow. It's so fun to watch clients grow in their specific goals and at the same time those really big picture goals where they're really becoming who they wanna be.

And honestly, regardless of whether you choose to work with me on a specific goal or a big picture goal, no matter where the focus is, one of the things that really, really trips folks up is the day to day. Grind, making space for learning those new behaviors and then shifting away from the default thought patterns into thoughts that are actually going to serve them.

So where I find that this comes up really, truly a lot is in those like, Where I find this comes up a lot is after we've been working together for two or three weeks, so they're really excited in the beginning, really focused, and then after two or three weeks, the daily grind and our rep. After two to three weeks, the daily grind and those repetitive behaviors and thought patterns begin to emerge.

And so we need to find a way to address those and building a practice around mindfulness, whether it's meditation or journal, and building a practice around mindfulness, whether it's meditation or journaling or some other kind of topic.  and building a practice around mindfulness, whether it is meditation or journaling or some other tool or component, really helps us to find a way to build that intentionality, build that awareness so that we can finally address the underlying thought patterns that are getting us the results that we don't want so that we can get the results that we do want.

And. All of that said, if you're a busy mom, especially if you're a working mom, it can feel like there is no time for meditation or breathwork or body scans or journaling or any of that. And honestly, it's the same for all the parents who stay home too, right? When you're home with your kids during the day and you're trying to get them snacks or meals or down for naps, it doesn't feel like there's time or space for.

Sitting down with your journal for 10, 15 minutes or pulling out the meditation pillow and sitting there for 20 minutes, that just feels not accessible to us during these points and seasons in our life.

I get that. I can so relate. I have a distinct memory of when my oldest kids were toddlers, so about 10 years ago or so now.  and it was a weekend morning and I had woke up with a plan that today, that day was going to be the day that I really finally started my mindfulness routine. And that would include meditation.

So it was probably just like about eight in the morning. My husband was with the two kids. They must have been like foreign to at the time. And I sat down to. I had made a plan, I was gonna go out onto the back porch and do it, so it must have been like spring or summer or fall where I could reasonably be out there.

In the upper Midwest where I live, we had a very private backyard, and so it wasn't a misplaced notion that I could somehow go out on the porch and do this.  and I thought the porch would be a great place to do it. I got distracted though on my way to where I was gonna do my meditation and I started picking up yard toys, and then I know I started weeding some of the landscaping around the porch, and so I completely got distracted and by the time I caught myself and realized what I had done, 10 minutes had passed.

So then I was like, Well, that's not gonna work. There's too much distraction outside. I can't focus, so I'm gonna try in our basement. But it was a mess down there with all the toys and the kids were running around above me.   The dog was running around above me and I just couldn't focus. So the fact that all this was happening really even underscored the fact that I really did need to do some kind of a practice, but it just wasn't.

um, within my reach at that time. So after I tried the base, the porch, and then after I tried the basement, I then tried my bedroom. So of course, though my kids found me in there and they interrupted me. I gave them back to their dad, and then I was like, Okay, where can I go? I'll just go into the closet. I hid in our walk-in closet and I know sooner.

Sat down and got settled in there, had my eyes shut, and was trying to, you know, breathe and kinda get into that meditative space. Then I hear their little voices coming into their room, the putter pattern of their little feet, and I see their fingers reaching under the door of the closet, reaching for.

I know just about any parent out there can relate to this. Those little fingers reaching for us all the time under the door, and those fingers are so beautiful. And in that moment I was like, I just am trying to meditate and build my awareness. Come on. When I think back at that memory, I know at the time I was so frustrated with.

I was probably also really frustrated with my husband and even with my kids who come on, there were only like four and two at the time. I wanted so badly to make some mental space for myself to give myself that moment of meditation to start the practice that weekend, to do the full 20 minutes that I wanted to do.

I wanted to get the gold star, the A plus. I wanted to p somebody who could like, Not see the toys laying out everywhere. I wanted that for myself and truly in that moment with where I was and that morning, it wasn't realistic for me at that time. If I could go back in time, I would do so much differently on that morning and I would first release all the judgment I had on myself at the time.

I would acknowledge that that was. The right time and space for me to try to build that kind of meditation practice into my life that day with trying to do it in that morning, even though it was only like 8:00 AM that wasn't gonna work. My kids were up and on the goal. My husband was up and with them, but they were still just running around and it was a weekend and they were looking for me.

The dog was excited because we were all home and was probably ready to go on their. Nor was it probably for me the right time to try to implement a full blown 20 minute meditation practice, a daily meditation practice like that into my life. Instead of making that mean that I was a somehow a failure or not zen enough, or not chill enough, or just couldn't get my act together enough, I would instead now look back and see.

That I was doing the best I could that had good intentions and that, well, maybe I couldn't do full blown, and that while maybe I couldn't do a full blown 20 minute meditation practice or more than 20 minute meditation practice, maybe. Maybe there were other things I could do. And I would for sure give myself kudos and celebration for all the things that I was really good at during that time, because during that time of our lives, I was incredible at meeting my little babies where they were with all the snuggles.

All the games, all the silliness, all the delight. And I was so awesome at doing all of the things that had to happen every week, whether it was at work or at home, and even sometimes getting some time to myself and building that in, just not on that particular morning. And it was so awesome that as a family, we had so much love and connection, especially on the weekends and we had so many adventures and I, during that time, I look back on it and I'm like, Wow, I had so much.

I had so much energy during that time. If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self that I was doing so great and that even if there were ways to create a mindfulness routine, if I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self that I was doing great at that time.  and I would tell myself that if I did wanna build a mindfulness or meditative type of practice into my life, that there were other ways to do that besides just the 20 minutes of quiet meditation that I was trying to get that morning.

And I would explain that here's how you can do it. And in fact, this is how I am doing it now and how I've been doing it for the last 10. And in fact, this is how I'm doing it now and how I have been doing it for the last 10 months, or. This is an easy, simple practice. It takes just two minutes, and I do it three, maybe four or five times a day.

It's so easy. It's called a PQ rep. PQ is short for positive intelligence quotient. Positive intelligence and PQ reps are developed. A guy named Shaza Shain, and you can find out all about him and his work and the extensive research behind positive Intelligence in his book on it. All of that is going to be linked in the show notes, but here's what you need to know right now.

Positive intelligence is something that we all have. It's something that we also can increase too by building our resiliency or our mental fitness. That means that we build our capacity to respond to life's challenges in a positive instead of a negative way, in a more healthy way. This isn't positive thinking.

This is more than that. It's about using our brain to help us actually to be happier, calmer, and more productive. If you are constantly feeling frustrated with yourself or with others, these kinds of PQ reps can help. If you wanna build some space for bringing more joy or peace or gratitude or whatever into your life, building your mental fitness.

Through these PQ reps can help you to be unshakeable when life throws challenges your way. If you start off each day with the best of intentions when it comes to a goal or a to-do list, but at the end of the day you realize you aren't any closer to achieving it, then these PQ reps can help you to build more awareness so that you can uncover what is throwing you off course and preventing you from achieving that.

The awesome thing about PQ reps, The awesome thing about PQ reps is that they only take a little bit of time and you can do them wherever and whenever. So like I said, PQ reps can be done in just as little as two minutes a day. It's very simple. Just take a moment and then using any of your senses, so sight, touch, hearing, smell, any of those, just take a moment and focus with that particular sense on one thing.

I really like to bring the attention back to my body. So for example, if I were going to do a PQ rep focused on touch, it might look like this. Take a breath, close your eyes and notice your fingers and your hand. Press the palms of your hands together. Notice how it feels. Is it rough or smooth? Now, rub two fingertips together.

And you can do this for various parts of your body, whether it's the way your legs feel, how your toes curl, and what it feels like, even when you wrinkle your nose or you try to move your ears, or maybe even when you shrug your shoulders, you can try this for any amount of time. I think when you're just starting out, just give it a try for two minutes, two minutes to try to focus and bring that attention.

Back to your body. Now I can hear you saying in your head, Jen, I'm so busy. I don't even know where I'd find two minutes at this point. No worries, because you can honestly do a PQ rep any time. That's what makes it so magical. That's what makes it such a game changer. You don't have to have like the perfect space and the perfect room and the ability to have it be quiet and sit down and have no interruptions.

You can do this wherever you are doing whatever it is that you're doing. So sit and hold your sweet little baby. Feel their breath. Come in and out of them and feel the breath. Come in and out of your body. Look at that baby and then really see them. And so here like focus on the sense of sight. Look at their lashes and their tiny hands and their little fingernails and all the shades of their hair.

Notice how that when you look at their hair in this way, you see more shades than you ever even realized Were there. This exercise of quiet, deliberate noticing is a PQ rep two, and so you have the time and the space. Build this awareness into your life, and this awareness helps to increase your mental fitness.

And what that does is it gives you the ability then to start to see and notice the thought patterns that aren't serving you as you increase. Those mental fitness muscles, you'll create more space between the thoughts and your actions so that you can then choose something that is going to better suit you for whatever it is that you are trying to achieve.

I know that it seems like how could two minutes a day, couple times a day help with this? And it does.

You can even do these kinds of PQ reps during the workday. I do this when I'm headed into meetings, whether it's virtual or just down the hall or walking across from building to building. I take a minute to tap into one of my senses. I focus heavily on that one sense, whatever I'm doing. So whether it is what I hear, what I smell, or what I see.

For example, it's autumn where I am right now. So if I'm walking outside, I think about all of the sounds around me, including the crunch of the leaves and even the wind rustling through the leaves that still remain in the trees. I listen to the sound of my footsteps, the sound of conversations happening around me, even my breath as I'm walking.

Sometimes I can even hear the sounds of grass hoppers and birds to. There is more happening in that way around you, and if you take the time to tune into that sense, it brings you back into it and takes you away from all the chitter chatter that's otherwise happening in your mind. I have been doing,

and again, you can do. You can do these PQ reps any time with any of your senses, and it's one way in which you can build more mindfulness and awareness into your day and increase your mental fitness even when you don't have time to meditate for half an hour every day. I have been doing this religiously for two minutes a day, three times a week for the last 10 months, and I can honestly say that I am calmer and more aware during the day.

I can handle more of what life throws at me, and it has empowered me in this way. It will empower you too. So give it a try. What have you got to lose? You have nothing to lose by giving this a try. And if you want more support, reach out to me on Instagram. I'm currently enrolling folks into a mental fitness program.

This program is full of tons of value, and I promise you my most accessible price point. So if you have ever. To grow your mindfulness in any way so that you can create more space, more peace, more calm, more intention, more joy in your life, so that you can go after those goals so that you can achieve the feeling of knowing that with these beautiful years that you have with your kiddos, you can enjoy them.

Then I promise that this program will help you do it. Go ahead, give me a shout out on Instagram and I will get you all hooked up by. So that's the first part of today's episode. I also promised you a tactical tip on reclaiming your day with an after work routine. This is something that I just started in the last two months and it has been awesome.

It's been so awesome that when I review my monthly progress, I realized I absolutely for sure must, must, must share this with you. I worked with one of my coaches to develop this as a strategy for myself, and I can't wait to share it with you. So here is what happened last summer. I was really struggling with bringing my work home with me all the time.

Things were full at work and I couldn't find a way to stop checking my email, stop thinking about projects or replaying conversations in my head, going down all kinds of rabbit holes all the time. Can you relate it all to that? Have you ever felt like even though you have physically left work, you're still there mentally?

It was definitely what I was experiencing, and as a result, I wasn't able to enjoy my later afternoons and evenings as much as I wanted to. I was struggling to stay present, to stay fully present in the way that I wanted to. So here's what I did. I chatted about this with my coach. We talked about this problem and came up with a, so, She wanted to know if I always struggled with this, and of course, to an extent I had, but it was particularly acute over the last month or so.

And we talked through some kind of tough questions, and what I realized through that process was that I had no after work routine anymore. I didn't have a commute because my job was so close to my home. I didn't really have a break anymore either. , It had been like this since the pandemic. I didn't really have a break anymore either between work and home.

And it had been like this ever since the pandemic started and now with things really turn returning to those pre pandemic and now,

and it had, and it had been like this ever since the pandemic started.  and now with things effectively, truly seeming to return basically to normal and to pre pandemic levels. With me being at Back at Work, I had forgotten how to effectively keep that separation or boundary between work and the rest of my life.

I know that this is something that a lot of people struggle with, and so I wanted to find a solution for. With it, and here's what I came up with. I would make space and time after work before I picked up the kids to go home and change clothes and go for a short walk. Whether it was a five minute walk, a 10 minute walk, a 20 minute walk, whatever.

Maybe I'd even do one of those PQ reps that I mentioned. This would be my new commute. And that's truly how I think of it now. This is my commute. This is what I need to do to get from work Jen to home, Jen or mom, Jen. So every day, as often as I can, I leave work, I head home and I change clothes. I get out of those work clothes, I put them away, throw them in the hamper, whatever, and I put on different clothes, and then I get out for a quick walk, even if it's just to the mailbox and.

This little bit of extra me time puts me in the mental space that I wanna be in when I go and get my kids. It's been a game changer. Honestly. My days feel longer and less rushed. I feel focused on being the kind of parent and partner I wanna be at night. I show up with more intention and instead of my day running me, I get to run my day.

My friends. This has helped me so much in this regard. I would love to hear from you what you do for an after work routine, and let's share ideas  and let's share those ideas. Let's empower each other to reclaim that part of our day for ourselves and for our  📍 families.   📍  This is the kind of work that when we think about.

What kind of life we wanna create for us and our kids. This is a kind of work that really makes a difference. It's not always easy. Sometimes it's kind of hard. Sometimes we fall flat on our face and it's the work that has to be done. Only you and I can do this work. We have to go first.

Okay, my friends.

Today's episode is less than 10 minutes long, and you are going to walk. Today's episode is less than 15 minutes long, and you are going to walk away with. Awesome tactical tips. The first is a two minute guided meditation process, and the second is a tactical after work.