Mom Writes First

61: How to Have a Less Stressed Thanksgiving Holiday

November 16, 2022 Jen Larimore
Mom Writes First
61: How to Have a Less Stressed Thanksgiving Holiday
Show Notes Transcript

When you're a mom, the holiday. mental load often falls on you! This, combined with the expectations that we and others bring to the day, can create a lot of STRESS! But that's not necessary. You can create a Thanksgiving Holiday that really matters without the stress. You can have less stress and less overwhelm in your Thanksgiving. And that will means a happy, more connected you.

Learn the 3+3+3 Method for handling holiday stress. You can have less stress this Thanksgiving. 
Here's the breakdown: 
1) Learn the 3 things to do when planning Thanksgiving: Start with your values for creating the essence of what you want on Thanksgiving, then think about what needs to happen at a high level for you to achieve those values on that day, then make a list of logistical items. 
2) Learn the 3 things to do the day leading up to Thanksgiving: 1 logistical item, something fun, and something to take care of y
3) Learn the 3 things to do on Thanksgiving Day to have a less stressed and more connected time: Prioritizing physical well-being, connection, and a short 2-min mindfulness exercise to get you started on the right foot.

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what would your Thanksgiving look like? If it was a little bit less stressful. What have you could actually enjoy that day. What, if you could create the kind of Thanksgiving you've always wanted. What, if you could do that by simply aligning it towards what you really truly want at the most basic level. 

What, if you could take care of yourself, what if you could get to the end of that Thanksgiving meal and not feel stressed and burnt out and exhausted. What if you could have joy and connection  a long with a big plate of mashed potatoes. Doesn't that sound wonderful. That's what today's episode is all about. 

My friends. This is about creating the type of Thanksgiving that is really, truly aligned towards your values. And then deliberately moving toward that. That is available to you and I'm here to share how you can 📍  

  Hello, my friends. Welcome to this episode of Mom First. Today's episode is all about how to have a less stressful thanksgiving. Doesn't that sound wonderful?

This episode airs the week before Thanksgiving 2022, and in this episode I'm gonna share with you the three things that you should. Right now to have a less stressful Thanksgiving. The three things that you should do each day as it gets up to Thanksgiving, as it gets up to your holiday to help ensure that that holiday is less stressful than it might normally or typically be.

 And then I'm going to share with you three things to do on that specific day to again, make it a less stressful, maybe not a completely stress free, but a less stressful Thanksgiving day. 

This is my three plus, three plus three method to help ensure that your Thanksgiving really is less stressful than it typically might be. So again, these are three things to do right now when it comes to planning your Thanksgiving. Three things to do each day as we lead up to Thanksgiving, and three things to do on that particular day.

Before we dive into all of that though, I want you to know that if you are loving the content and the idea. On this podcast, if you're enjoying hearing from me, then you are gonna love all that I have to offer over at my website, mom first coaching.com. In particular, I want you to know that I offer one-on-one individual coaching sessions as well as a group mental fitness training that is seriously blowing people's minds.

Mental fitness is all about building our capacity to respond to the challenges that life throws at us, to, to respond to them from a place of, to respond to those challenges, from a place of empathy and curiosity and compassion and creativity instead of from judgment and negativity. 

 And so this seven week course that I offer is going to be kicking off again in January, and I would love for you to be on it. , so head on over to mom first coaching.com and make sure you sign up to get on the list for when this program opens up again in January.

All right, so let's dive into today's topic. 

So this is my three plus three plus three method for having a less stressful holiday. Let's talk about the first set of three. So this is the three things that you should do right away as you plan and prepare for the holiday. In this case, Thanksgiving. 

So here's where we begin. We start, as we so often do with our values and what we truly want, that Thanksgiving day, that Thanksgiving experience to feel like.  So for me this year at our Thanksgiving, I wanna really, so for me this year at our Thanksgiving, I really wanna pull out those feelings of connectedness, peacefulness, and gratitude.

That is honestly what I want for that day, for my family, and for.

We have to start with our values because that gives us an idea or a picture of where we're really going, and it helps us to prioritize and figure out what is really important and what matters. Notice that we're not starting with the perfectly clean house. We're not starting with the perfectly cooked.

because those things, those are just the logistical pieces. What we need to know right now is where we are actually going. What is it that we are trying to have or create on that particular day? And what that often comes down to is a feeling, a vibe, an experience. 

When it comes to thinking about what your values are for that particular day, think about at the end of the day how you want everyone to feel, how you want yourself to feel, because that is going to help us to figure out the next two things that we're going to do as we plan for the holiday.

So the first was to figure out the values that you are trying to embody for that day. The second is to think about what is going to need to happen in order for you truly to have that feeling. Or those feelings on that particular day. So for example, I know if I want connectedness, I'm gonna need some actual quality time with the humans that I love.

If I'm spending the whole day in the kitchen by myself, I'm not gonna have that. We're not gonna have that as a family if I am stressed out because I don't think the house is clean enough or whatever. Then we're not gonna have very much gratitude. Like I'm not gonna be bringing very much gratitude to the table.

I'm just gonna be bringing stress to the table. And similarly, we're not gonna be feeling very calm if I've been frenzied and frazzled and running around the house like a maniac, trying to get everything together and trying to make a perfect, beautiful Pinterest type of Thanksgiving. Notice that at this point, I'm not thinking.

what people are going to eat or how clean the house is per se. Instead, when I'm thinking about like is what actually needs to happen at a very high level or very big picture level on that particular day. So what is important to you about what has to happen on that day? And then we think about the logistics.

All right? The logistics are the food, the cleaning. Meal planning around it, getting to the grocery store, all of those types of things. The actual how of how you're gonna create it. So those are the three things to do right now in order to prep and plan for Thanksgiving Day. We're one week out at this point.

So you're looking at your values, you're thinking at a high level about what needs to happen in order to have those values come into existence. And then you're thinking about the logistics and making a list of what has to happen. Then I told you that the next three set of things would be three things to think about for each particular day.

. So first, you're gonna pick one thing that you actually. Have to do, and that actually really truly does matter. That will help you to create the kind of Thanksgiving that you actually want to create. So maybe it is planning the menu, maybe it is going to the grocery store.

Notice that we're not getting bogged down into the nitty gritty DA details that don't really matter, that aren't actually gonna help us to achieve our goal of what we want our Thanksgiving to be like in terms of our values.

Instead, we're picking one thing that actually matters to do that day. And this is really important because I know that some of you are high achievers, some of you are big people pleasers, and some of. Have a lot of anxiety around trying to create the most wonderful, beautiful, perfect Pinterest holiday style Thanksgiving ever.

And what I want you to do, and what I want you to know is that if you can connect instead to your values and drive towards those, you're gonna have a wonderful and incredible Thanksgiving, even if it's not going to be. Pinterest. Perfect. So pick one thing that actually matters to get done on that particular day that's actually going to move the needle on getting you to the result that you want.

The second thing you're gonna do the week of Thanksgiving every day is you're gonna have fun. That's right. You're gonna have fun. Because ultimately, like what we're going for here in life is a joy filled existence. One that's connected to our purpose. So our values. And that is also joy filled. So there may be a way for you to combine the things that you picked out.

Like maybe you have to make a pie and maybe you can make it more fun by doing it with your kids or having some fun around it in some way. And then the. Third thing you're gonna do every day is you're gonna make some space for some self care that actually fills you up. So that could be some alone time.

For example, it could be a walk with a friend, it could be some journaling. Whatever it is that really floats your boat, that's what you're going to do for that particular day. So now we've talked about the three things to do as you're planning. We've talked about the three things you're going to do each day leading up to the holiday, and now it's time to talk about the three things that you're gonna do that particular day that are gonna give you a less stressed thanksgiving.

Not a stress-free Thanksgiving, but a less stressed.  The first thing that you're gonna do is you're gonna start the day with enough. As well as a. Decent meal. I know a lot of us, when we're prepping for a big meal, our own nutritional needs kind of go out the door, but if you can find something that morning that is easy or fast, but also healthy and is gonna nourish you through that day, to really set the day off on the right foot, that is what we're looking for.

The second thing you're going to. Is you going to make it a point to have connection on that particular day with the humans that matter most to you, whoever that is, right? 

 That's a big deal, and that can help us to feel fulfilled and sustained even when things start to get kind of stressful. Even if it looks like the mashed potatoes aren't turning out right, or the turkey's not getting connected because that point of connection is grounding for us as humans and helps us to keep in.

What really, truly, at the end of the day matters. And the third thing that I'm really going to encourage you to do is to just take. Two minutes and do a very short meditation type of exercise where you don't need anything else. But set a timer on your phone for two minutes and just sit and be and do a full body scan.

Really drop back into your body and just feel all the parts of your body kind of as you sit there. Think about the top of your head and like scrunch up your forehead and feel how that feels. And then release it. Scrunch up your nose. Feel what your nose feels like when it's all scrunched up. Maybe wiggle your ears if you're one of those folks who can do that, clench your jaw and release your.

And go all the way down through your whole body, tensing and releasing each part as you go all the way down through your tips to your fingertips, and then back down through your stomach and your hips and your legs, all the way down to your feet and your toes. This little. Of mindfulness practice. This little two minute exercise can be just what you need to really ground yourself in your day.

I encourage you to do these three things right away, right off the bat. So to recap, those are getting off to a good start by prioritizing your sleep for that day and getting a good, nutritious meal of some kind right away in the. 

Second, having a point of connection with the humans that you love the most that day. And third, a really brief, quick mindfulness exercise so that you can truly be grounded in your body and ready to take on everything that happens that day so that you can really have the kind of thanksgiving that you truly want and is connected and aligned to your values.

As my friends. As moms, we so often set the tone for what our holidays are like for us, for our families, for our kids. This is your opportunity this year to try something maybe a little bit different. , but to try something that is really connected to creating the kind of life that you, at the end of the day, really want for you and for your family.

So start by thinking about those values and align everything to them. Then give yourself the support that you. Each day leading up to the holiday in order to make sure that you have the time and capacity to do what you need to do on the day of the holiday, and you've done the things that actually matter and are gonna get you there to having a great holiday.

And then on that particular day, show up to yourself with love and compassion and grace by prioritizing three things straight away that.

And then on that particular day, show up and then on that particular day, show up and give yourself the grace and the tools that are gonna help you to stay aligned with what it is that you're trying to create for yourself and your family that day. This.

This is a little different from how you might, this is a little different from what Pinterest might tell you in terms of how to keep, this is a little bit different in terms of creating a Thanksgiving holiday.

This is how we create a Thanksgiving holiday that is truly less stressful and is more aligned with what it is that we actually want in our life. 

This isn't easy work, but someone has to do it. If we want a less stressful Thanksgiving, then we have to go first. 

Have a very happy Thanksgiving and please know that whenever it is that you are listening to this episode, whether it's the week before Thanksgiving of 2022, sometime in the next summer or many years down the road, that I am so thankful. For you dear listener, I am so grateful that you show up and listen to this podcast.

I am so grateful that you're thinking about ways in which you as a mom can really lead with joy. I'm so grateful for you for doing the kind of work that's really going to make a difference in this world, even though it's not easy work, you're incredible. I believe in. I support you and I am so grateful that you  📍 exist. 📍 

What have you got this? What if you got to decide ahead What your Thanksgiving looked like, what you felt, what your family would feel. 

Hello, my friends. 

What would your Thanksgiving look like? If it was less stressed. What if, instead of being a frazzled. And frenzy day. Filled with concerns and boundary violations and arguments. 

What would your Thanksgiving look like? If it was a little bit less stressful. What have you could actually enjoy that day. What, if you could create the kind of Thanksgiving you've always wanted. What, if you could do that by simply aligning it towards what you really truly want at the most basic level. What, if you could take care of yourself, what if you could get to the end of that Thanksgiving meal and not feel stressed and burnt out and exhausted. What if you could have joy and connection along with some gratitude and a long with a big plate of mashed potatoes. Doesn't that sound wonderful. That's what today's episode is all about. My friends. This is about creating the type of Thanksgiving that is really, truly aligned towards your values. And then deliberately moving toward that. That is available to you and I'm here to share how you can 

Are you ready? Let's go.

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