Mom Writes First

76: Create Unshakeable Self-Confidence by Knowing Yourself

January 23, 2023 Jen Larimore
Mom Writes First
76: Create Unshakeable Self-Confidence by Knowing Yourself
Show Notes Transcript

How would you show up differently if your belief and confidence in yourself was absolutely unshakeable? 

You can build your confidence. You can be more self-confident. And you don't have to wait until you achieve your goals to have that self-confidence. 

The truest and highest form of self-confidence comes from living in integrity with who you are. 

•Knowing yourself and living in integrity with your values gives you the confidence to stand up for yourself, your dreams, your desires, and your boundaries.
• When you are aware of what is happening within your heart, it allows you to make intentional decisions that create the life that truly want. 
• This self-knowledge leads to an unshakeable belief in oneself, which makes one unstoppable no matter what life throws at them. 
• Coaching can help develop this knowledge and provide support when facing difficult situations or saboteurs who judge or diminish others for their own gain. 
• Doing this work provides huge payoffs as it helps build true confidence by discovering who we really are and how best to use our unique gifts. When you get to that spot, nothing can make you inferior. Nothing can shake your ultimate confidence in yourself! 

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Hi, I’m Jen Larimore, I’m a lawyer turned life coach and the Host of Mom First. I’m also a mom of 5, living and working in a small, midwestern town, and I started this podcast to empower other working moms–just like me– to ditch the overwhelm and lead with joy. If you’re ready to go from frazzled and barely surviving to fulfilled, joyful and thriving, then you’re in the right place. 

We’re going way back with this episode, back to my JUNIOR year of high school if you can believe it. Way back then, a teacher of mine, her name was Mrs. Shrieber, pulled me aside, and told me, “Jenny, Just remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This quote that Mrs. Shreiber shared with me that day comes from First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. 

I cannot remember what the concern was that prompted my high school teacher to share that quote with me. But I’ll never forget how I felt. I felt seen. I felt like she was reminding me to keep going and to keep believing in myself. 

I wish I could go back in time and let Mrs. Shreiber know how much that meant to me that day and how much it still does mean to me. Can you relate? Do you have a teacher that shared something like that with you–at just the right time? 

That was just over 20 years ago and its stuck with me. 

There are a lot of ways to interpret this quote. For me, it comes down to knowing and believing in yourself. 

When you know yourself, what others think of you does not matter. If you know who you are, and what’s in your heart, then what others think or what is happening around you doesn’t really matter. 

When you know yourself, really know yourself, you can look inside of your heart. You live in integrity with yourself. I’ve always believed that the one thing I had to be able to do everyday was be able to look myself in the mirror. Having this belief, forces me to examine not just my actions, each day, but the intention behind them. Am I living in alignment with my most precious values? Am I being who I want to be? Am I creating the life that I want?  

When you know yourself, you have the confidence to stand up for yourself. You have the confidence to stand up for your beliefs. You make decisions from a proactive state, not a reactive one. And that means you control your life, not someone or something else. 

If you have the knowledge and self-awareness to know what is really happening inside your heart, then you have the means to make truly intentional decisions. Decisions that will help you to create the life that you truly want for you and your kids. These are decisions that come from your own mind and heart, instead of what other people tell you you should do. 

And when you are in this really magical place, of self knowledge, the pay off is this incredible belief in yourself. Its a belief that makes you unshakeable in so many ways, because when you know yourself, you know that you can truly handle whatever life throws at you. Whatever other people throw at you, whether its at work or at home. Whether its related to finances or the kids’ education. Whether you are trying to decide whether to take a trip, build that house, or make a new career move. When you have the confidence to know that whatever happens, you will be fine, then you are absolutely unstoppable. And you’re free. You’re as free as you can possibly be in this life. 

If you struggle with this, then I want you to know that coaching can help. Coaching to help to know who you are, to help discover what’s most important to you, and to help make you absolutely unshakeable no matter what life throws your way. Coaching is uniquely situated to help with this, because coaching starts from the premise that you are whole and complete and unbroken just as you are and that you have the answers within you.

The pay off to doing this work is huge on soooo many levels. 

When you develop your confidence by discovering who you really are and what matters to you the most and what you uniquely bring to the table, nothing can make you feel inferior. 

It doesn’t mean someone won’t try, of course. There will always be people who don’t see the big picture. There will always be people who want what you have. There will always be people who won’t support you and who will see you as a threat. 

In fact, to be honest, the more authentically you show up and the more confident you are, the more likely it is that those people will appear. I mean to be fair, showing up authentically and confident in yourself, is how you find the people who really love you. But its also where others will show up. Let’s call them the saboteurs. These are the folks that for whatever reason, usually for their own gain, are out to judge or diminish you for some reason. This can show up in any number of ways, from judgment and momshaming at the playground or soccer games, to disparaging remarks about another mom’s choices of what to feed their kids or how to throw a birthday party, to lack of support or even machiavelian like gamesmanship at work. 

Having done so much of the work to know what matters to me the most and who I am on a most fundamental level, what i’ve come to realize is that when these folks show up. When these sabotuers, fi you will show up, and attempt to make me feel inferior, its a good sign. 

 I know that sounds a bit counterintuitive, but when folks show up to cut me down now, I see it as a good sign. To me, it makes me feel like I’m right on track. I’m expecting it. 

Whether its someone trolling me on instagram, another mom judging my parenting choices, or a difficult situation at work, when these situations show up, I know that 1) its a chance to test that belief in myself, and 2) its a sign that I can double down on what really truly is important to me. And when you are forced to do that, you become more of who you are meant to be. You pick a path that is even more aligned to what you want. 

Now this doesn’t mean its easy. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean its not scary. But there is this benefit to it. And when you get to the other side, you are even stronger. You are even more confident. And then you make decisions from that place where you even more aligned with your most authentic self. 

If you want  help with this, I want you to know I’m here to support you. The best way to reach me on the fly for most immediate help and support is to DM me on Instagram. You can find me @momfirstcoaching on Instagram. Here’s the thing. No matter where you are in this journey, I want you to know you are right where you are meant to be. And if things aren’t working for you. If you are feeling inferior. If you are lacking confidence. If you don’t know what to do. Then I want you to know that I am here for you. And I promise you that the answer is within you. 

I can’t wait to hear from you. I will see you next time. 

Okay, my friend, thank you for checking out this episode. Hey, if you liked this content and you’re ready to take this work to the next level, then I want to invite you to get coached by me. I offer 1:1 coaching and group coaching, too! Imagine what it would be like if you could finally enjoy this season of life that you are in and set an incredible example of fulfillment and joy for your kids. That is possible for you. And I’m here to help you. All you have to do is head over to to find out more. 

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