25. Are you taking your writing TOO seriously? 6 tips to infuse your writing with more fun!

Reviving the Joy in Writing: Tips for Busy Moms

Let's explore how moms who write can rediscover the joy in their writing process. 

• Learn six actionable tips aimed at helping moms avoid taking their writing too seriously
• Understand how to stop sapping all the fun out of the creative process. 
• Use childhood experiences to remember the joy of writing
• Learn the shocking truth about why you should consider ditching writing goals. 
• Practice engaging in free writings
• Identify ways for creating a fun writing ritual
• Understand the importance of building a community with other mom writers, and ceasing to fight with the writing process. 

Writing shouldn't feel like a chore. Let's make a joyful priority in our creative lives. 

00:00 Introduction: Rediscovering the Joy in Writing
00:27 Meet Jen: A Mom, Lawyer, and Aspiring Author
01:29 The Struggle of Writing as a Busy Mom
02:48 Why Writing Shouldn't Be a Chore
07:52 Embracing Writing with Joy and Curiosity
12:37 Practical Tips to Make Writing Fun Again
21:04 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

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Transcript

 25. Are you taking your writing TOO seriously? 6 tips to infuse your writing with more fun!  

[00:00:00] 

[00:00:00] Introduction: Rediscovering the Joy in Writing

[00:00:00] Jen: Has writing stopped being fun does sitting down, to write feel more and more like doing the dishes or folding the laundry. On today's episode, I share with you six tips to help you to figure out. If you are taking your writing. Way too seriously and sucking all the joy and fun out of it in the process. The last one, number six is my absolute favorite. Are you ready? 

[00:00:26] Take a breath. Let's go. 

[00:00:27] 

[00:00:27] Meet Jen: A Mom, Lawyer, and Aspiring Author

[00:00:27] Welcome to Mom Writes First, the podcast that helps busy moms reach their writing goals. I'm Jen Larimore. I'm a mom of five, a lawyer turned life coach, And I'm writing my very first book. I want to help you reach your writing goals too. If you're a mom who wants to jumpstart her journey as a writer, then you have to head over to my website, momfirstcoaching.

[00:00:56] com, and take the free quiz there. That [00:01:00] quiz is going to show you How to take your mom's superpower, you know, that characteristic that makes you an absolutely incredible mom to your kids, and then leverage that characteristic so that you can reach your writing goals. Again, the website is momfirstcoaching.

[00:01:19] com forward slash quiz. Now on to today's episode. 

[00:01:26] Jen: Hello writers. Welcome to mom writes first. 

[00:01:29] The Struggle of Writing as a Busy Mom

[00:01:29] Jen: I know you're a busy mom and you're doing your best to make time to write. And I know that your time is super valuable. And so I feel so honored and privileged to be here in your ear, chatting with you today about how to make writing more fun. And I also know that between daycare drop-off kid activities, meal prep. And work. Finding time to write can feel like an absolutely [00:02:00] impossible task.

[00:02:01] When we are all caught up in the hubbub of life. Sitting down to write, can end up feeling like just another item on our never ending to do list. It gets even worse. When you start listening to all the experts who tell you all the things that you should be doing when it comes to your writing. From knowing your audience to working out the plot, to getting your social media, going to reaching out to editors, to doing query letters, to building your audience ahead of time to knowing your niche. Oh, my gosh. It is enough to make your head spin. And in doing so. Turn the art and craft of writing. Into one big, giant stinky chore to complete. 

[00:02:48] Why Writing Shouldn't Be a Chore

[00:02:48] Jen: But writing. My friends writing is a gift. 

[00:02:54] It's not a chore. And it's time that we begin to experience it as [00:03:00] such. 

[00:03:01] And look. I will totally take ownership. I have my part in this. . Because I know I have recommended to you. That you develop a writing habit to help you to write more often. And while I definitely stand by that advice, I think it's the best way for busy moms to get some writing in. 

[00:03:20] I will definitely also tell you that the most important thing. Is that you truly begin with joy Don't get lost in a sea of productivity. And lose the fun. As a result.

[00:03:37] My goal with this episode today is to inspire you to infuse more fun, really intentionally. Into your writing routine. And to stop taking your writing. So, dang seriously. 

[00:03:51] In preparation for this podcast, I went to Google and I asked. Am I taking my writing too seriously. And guess what? I came back [00:04:00] up with loads of advice about how, if I want to be a serious writer, I need to take my writing very seriously. And what that meant was basically. Forcing myself to write every single day, hammering out a book in three months being harsh. 

[00:04:16] And self-critical when editing. What kind of miserable nonsense is this. This is definitely not what I signed up for when I got into writing. 

[00:04:27] I want to tell you right off the bat here, that if you are feeling miserable, And beating yourself up when it comes to your writing. You are doing it wrong. It doesn't have to be like this and it's not going to work like that. So often. We are taught. That we should feel bad about ourselves so that we're then able to get something done so that we're then able to be productive, contributing members of society. 

[00:04:53] But that's not the kind of thinking that actually gets us to our goal. 

[00:04:58] That kind of advice and [00:05:00] thinking is outdated. It's misguided and it's just plain wrong. I could get into all the coaching science behind this, but if we took a simple example that I think a lot of you can probably relate to, we could think about how this actually works in real life. So. Think about, for example, all the people who, you know, who have a goal to go to the gym regularly.

[00:05:24] Now let's divide those people into two groups. One group rags on themself tells themselves that they're awful lazy, gross. That they're such a disappointment to everyone around them. They're never going to get stronger. What does it matter? Even if they go to the gym, cause they're not even gonna get better or healthier or fitter or any of that. And all they see is the negative. 

[00:05:47] But they are serious, right. They're angry and they're tough. And they're serious about going to the gym. 

[00:05:54] But the other group. That group cheers themselves on. They give [00:06:00] themself a high five when they get out of bed in the morning and make it to the gym. They know that they're doing the best that they can under the circumstances. So even when they miss a day, they bounce right back because they're positive. And eventually they end up loving. Going to the gym. At the end of the year. Which group of people do you think will have gone to the gym more? Not the first group. 

[00:06:25] I'll tell you that much because the minute something comes up to derail them, whether it's a work trip, an illness, bad weather. Those folks, they're not going to go to the gym. 

[00:06:36] The minute that they realize they have it out. The minute that they slip just a little bit. They're going to think to themselves. I might as well not go at all. Right, because they're so stuck in this negative cycle of self-talk and perfectionism and beating themselves up. So they aren't going to reach their goal. But the second group, that second [00:07:00] group is going to keep going to the gym. Because they will have learned to love. And enjoy the process. Of going to the gym. The process of getting fit and healthier. 

[00:07:14] It is the same exact thing with writing. You need to let yourself enjoy the process. And you know what you should. Because honestly, that's all there ever is in life. 

[00:07:25] Anyway. There's no destination here is not better than there. There is not better than here. There's no end point. Even when you publish your book, even when you sell the movie rights to your book, there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The end that we all get to look forward to. My friends is death. 

[00:07:46] The rest is just a journey. Let yourself enjoy it. 

[00:07:52] Embracing Writing with Joy and Curiosity

[00:07:52] Jen: The thing is that we so often think then order to write, we have to take our writing very seriously and thereby take ourselves [00:08:00] seriously. But choosing. Not to take our writing so seriously. Does not mean that it isn't a priority for us. Writing can still be a priority in our lives. We just have to stop taking it so seriously that we end up hating it. Let's talk a little bit more now about how you can stop sucking all the fun and joy right out of your writing. 

[00:08:22] As we first begin. I have a quick question for you. I want to know. What were you like as a kid? What did you like to do? Did you love to write? I loved to write when I was a kid. I remember that basically throughout elementary school. I was just one of those kids who would rush to finish my work so that I would have time left over so that I could write. 

[00:08:51] And then I would write, I would write stories and poems and speeches and plays. And you name it. I would write it. I [00:09:00] was all about writing. And I remember loving it. I remember feeling like it was just easy and fun. 

[00:09:07] And then when all the other kids were done with their work. I would recruit them to be in my plays. I would get up. And read a poem. I had written to the class. And I loved doing those things so much. And I know now looking back at it that I was probably in a lot of ways, kind of an annoying kid when it came to those things. And I think a little bit of all my poor teachers and all my classmates who really had to just kind of like. Put it up with me and they entertain me and they went along with it, but I'm sure at some point they were kind of like, oh my gosh, enough already. But here's the thing. When I think about that kid. That kid that I was. I just remember how much fun I was having. I loved writing. I love performing my writing. Regardless of whether I was kind of being a little bit [00:10:00] annoying to some people. And when I think about it, It reminds me that writing even now. Shouldn't be about what other people think. It should be fun. We should allow it to be fun. 

[00:10:15] When I remember that kid who loved to write the words that come to mind are curiosity. And wonder and joy. That's what she brought with her. She wasn't focused on an outcome. She wasn't trying to finish a book, get something published, write the next great novel or pen. The next hit screenplay. She was having fun, plain and simple. 

[00:10:40] What if we approached our writing with that same exact energy. The more I do this. The more I coach folks on their goals. The more I go after my goals, the more I have big, hairy, scary, audacious dreams and goals of my own. And the more I work on them. The more, I [00:11:00] realized that all of this is just a vibe. 

[00:11:03] It's all about kind of approaching. What we're trying to achieve with the kind of energy. That we would have if we were already there. So what if we tried. Being open and curious and full of wonder when it came to our writing. You can let go of expectation and judgment. It's not going to hurt you. Nothing bad is going to happen. 

[00:11:26] The sky is not going to fall and you can allow yourself to surrender to the process to start simply enjoying. Playing with your writing. And if you do this. Imagine. What could change. Would you tell yourself that you have to write a certain number of words a day? Would you be forcing yourself to sit down at the same spot every day for the same amount of time and right. Would you be rewarding yourself with a treat after you, write?. Look, if you do [00:12:00] those things, I'm not saying that you should be ashamed of that. 

[00:12:03] I'm not saying it's an even a problem per se. I'm just asking you right now. Does doing that? Sound like fun. Does it feel like fun? Does it seem like somebody who was loving writing and having fun writing would need to do those things. 

[00:12:19] Here's an idea for you. How about if we write and we make it fun? Why can't fun. and joy, . Co-exist with our writing. Why can't fun and joy be a priority in our lives. 

[00:12:32] So here are some questions to get. You started to figure out how you can add a little bit more joy. 

[00:12:37] Practical Tips to Make Writing Fun Again

[00:12:37] Jen: In your writing routine. 

[00:12:38] Number one. What makes writing fun and joyful for you? 

[00:12:42] Number two. How can you be silly when you write. 

[00:12:47] Number three. What stops writing from being fun? 

[00:12:51] Number four. What would have to happen for you to look forward to writing each day? 

[00:12:58] Number five. What [00:13:00] can you do today to have more fun when you write. Ask yourself, these questions and explore what it could look like. So that's my first tip. 

[00:13:10] here's tip two. Once you have a chance to consider what it might mean to have fun. When you write, I want you to do something a little shocking. 

[00:13:19] And that is. Ditch or at least take a quick break from all your writing goals, your writing plans, your schedules and your deadlines. That's right. You heard me? Ditch the goals, the plans, the schedules, the deadlines drop, it all remove the pressure from writing so that it can again have a chance to be fun. Now, if you have an external deadline, a contract, for instance, Maybe this idea is not for you, at least not for every single thing that you have, but I know for most of us, what we need is to make writing. Less of a job. 

[00:13:55] Les of a J O B. And instead allow it to be a place [00:14:00] where we are joyful and creative. 

[00:14:02] I know that this goes against a lot of the conventional writing advice that is out there. But that writing advice is all about making, writing serious work and taking it very seriously and taking ourselves very seriously as writers. And the thing is. Do you really need more pressure? And more judgment in your life. 

[00:14:27] Do you really need to force yourself into being more productive so that you get to write? What if we just wrote, because it was fun to write. Wouldn't you actually end up writing more in the end.

[00:14:40] You are not a robot. Please stop treating yourself as such. 

[00:14:46] Tip number three. Take some time to free write. Maybe that means taking a few minutes each day to write a bit about a random topic. Maybe it means setting aside your current work in progress. Maybe it means working through a [00:15:00] list or a book of prompts. Maybe it means playing with story cubes.Maybe it's as simple as going out into the world. And noticing something. And from there writing. The idea here is to try to put yourself back into that childish, free creative state. 

[00:15:18] Like, oh my gosh, look, there's a bird it's sitting in a tree. Write a story about it. Don't look at me, blankly. When I say that. Instead channel that inner kiddo, that inner 10 year old. 

[00:15:33] I bet she could write a bomb story about that bird. So you get the idea, right? Let's do some free writing and play a little bit pure, joyful play. 

[00:15:44] Tip number four. Make your writing a fun ritual go somewhere beautiful to write. Have some special tea. Play some music Use a beautiful notebook. Have some fun pens, maybe write with markers. 

[00:15:57] There are so many ways in [00:16:00] which you can make. Writing an event and in doing so, make it absolutely special. Recently, I was interviewing a woman for my podcast and she introduced me to the idea of romanticizing your marketing. But what I really took from it was the idea of romanticizing you're writing. So when we romanticize something, we think about it or describe it in a way that is better than it really was or seemed at the time. But what if you got dressed up. And went out to your favorite coffee shop to write. Or what if you found your favorite jammies? And snuggled up and slippers and a blanket, and maybe had like one of those little neck cozies and you sat by a window with your favorite tea and listened to the birds sing, and then you spend an hour writing. I mean that, to me, that sounds like absolute heaven. 

[00:16:51] Tip number five, add community to the mix. Being a mom writer can feel like a solitary pursuit. But it doesn't [00:17:00] have to be like that. And we can get so much out of spending time with one another. And hearing about each other's current writing work. And goals. We are social creatures. So get out there. And hang out with other moms who want to write. Empower other women who want to write. Support other women writers, you can find mom writers everywhere they're in your community. 

[00:17:23] They might be at the coffee shop with you right now. They might be a bookstores that you go to. They're probably at the library. Join a class. Take a workshop. Reach out to other mom writers, whether it's in your community or online. And create that support network that we all need. This will help you, but it will also help others by creating a place where you can share your struggles, celebrate your successes, and laugh at just all the silliness and absurdity of life and of writing as a mom. Not only are you going to get the benefit [00:18:00] from having the comradery of fellow writers, but you will also find inspiration and encouragement to keep going yourself. Even on those days when writing does not seem as fun. And it's important that you know that because even when you try all these tips, even when you do everything right, Quote, unquote. There are still going to be days where writing is kind of hard. Where it doesn't feel fun. And that's okay. It doesn't mean anything has gone wrong. 

[00:18:30] It just means that you're a human, having a human experience in this world. What I hope to inspire you to do with this episode today is to allow it to be fun. At least some of the time. 

[00:18:43] And that brings me to my sixth and final tip of the day. Stop fighting with your writing. 

[00:18:51] I see this come up in a couple of ways with my coaching clients and also even with my friends who are writing. They see you, their work, that book that they're working [00:19:00] on, that poem that they're trying to figure out the right cadence for. They see it as something that they are battling against almost like an enemy or a wild animal that they have to team. But rather than thinking of your writing in this way. Try thinking of it as a friend or as a partner. Or as. Something small and beautiful that you get to nurture. 

[00:19:26] Stop fighting or arguing or resisting with their writing. And instead surrender to the process of writing. Allow the words to ebb and flow, knowing that you're going to go back and work it out in the editing phase. Also in the same vein. I stop rewarding yourself for writing with extrinsic rewards. You don't need a trophy, a cookie, or a price for writing. The work that you're creating and putting out into the world that is its own gift. And lastly, stop undermining [00:20:00] your writing by making it less of a priority than other things or making it dependent on other chores or jobs that you need to do. 

[00:20:09] 

[00:20:09] For example for me, I have often told myself that I don't get to write until my other work or my chores are done. I did that as a way to motivate myself to get those things done, but guess what ends up happening? When I tell myself that I only get to right after I finished the laundry. I still hate folding laundry. And I ended up even resenting my writing a little bit. Since now I've tied it to the laundry. You're writing deserves to be cared for and cherished and prioritized and nurtured. 

[00:20:40] Allow yourself to treat writing in this way. It's not your writing's job to make sure that you get your work or your chores done. You're writing shouldn't care whether the dishes are done or the laundry it's bolded. It's your writing's job to simply exist and come into being. Let it and love it [00:21:00] and enjoy how it unfolds in the process. 

[00:21:04] Final Thoughts and Call to Action

[00:21:04] Jen: Okay. My friends, I hope that this episode inspires you. To infuse a little more joy into your writing. I've given you six tips today. I hope that you'll hop over to Instagram. Find me a mom writes first and tell me which one of those six is your favorite. Hey, it's Jen here. Listen, if this podcast resonates with you, then would you please do me a favor? Number one, share it with somebody else. It's up to each of us to empower each other on this journey, and that's one of the values that I am trying to Really hard to live into as part of this podcast. So please, if this podcast resonates with you, share it with a friend who it might help to number two, it would mean so much to me.

[00:21:49] If you would leave me a rating and review on Apple podcast or on Spotify, because that will help other people find this show to third. And [00:22:00] finally, I want to invite you to get on board. Signed up for my absolutely free newsletter, not spam. It's not salesy. I just want to support you in your writing goals.

[00:22:10] Head over to momfirstcoaching. com and you'll find a link there where you can easily sign up. Thank you so much for listening to this episode in case nobody has told you today, you are a beautiful, resourceful, whole, creative human being. You are not broken. You are an incredible writer. Keep on writing. I will see you next time.